There is a chill in the air in the morning when I walk Dahlia. Boisterous and happy kids from Seattle Arts & Science Academy are starting to fill the sidewalks and descend on our neighborhood. There are trees that are starting to turn towards fall colors. The sun sets, now, at 7:30 p.m. Things are changing.
All of this before Labor Day.
It’s been almost a year since WaMu went down, imploded, died, (fill in your favorite word). And yet, going into fall, unlike last year, I feel a sense of peace and calm. No longer am I harbored and anchored in the midst of a violent storm. Instead, the waters are still and the air is clear. I’m still anchored and know I am safe. I also know, that because the weather is good, I must start to chart a path forward. Go to new places. See what I can do outside my comfort zone.
With a new rhythm and cadence.
I liken this to when you go on vacation. Or at least when James and I go on vacation. At first, our pace is fast and fierce, we march from museum to lunch to another museum , etc. We whiz by locals, are irritated at their slowness. What are they doing, strolling, in the middle of the day?
And then, about five or six days into it, we find ourselves walking arm in arm, enjoying the smells and sights and freedom of being…just being. And it’s a gift when you recognize you are in that moment.
Truth be told – I haven’t been in “vacation mode” yet. If that means slowing down vs. just doing what I know I can do and what’s before me. I feel lucky to have client work, but I jumped into that immediately. I never stood back and asked myself what is going to matter and what difference I want to make in the world. Maybe we could say “mid-life crisis” – at 43 I think that’s a bit premature! But I do want to take advantage of the gift I’ve been given. The gift of time to reflect and take positive action towards a future that I want.
So as autumn comes our way, I will look at the falling leaves differently. Not a symbol of winter ahead but a shedding of the old so that the new can emerge.
This is my last post on Pinkslip. I thank all of you for “listening” to my musings. I don’t think a pink slip defines me anymore. I’m getting ready for the “big show” whatever that means and thinking back fondly at all of the wonderful memories I have had working with the most talented and gracious people I could ever hope to know.
This isn’t a goodbye, of course. Just me saying…pink doesn’t look good on me. Never has, never will.
Cheers! kd
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Summer Reading List
Nearly twenty years ago I read “The Fountainhead” & “Atlas Shrugged” back to back. It wasn’t the first time I had been introduced to Ayn Rand’s philosophy. Having it displayed with such eloquence through fiction, though, really hooked me in. I had just graduated from the University of New Haven with my Master’s Degree in Industrial/Organizational Psychology. My roommate and I were desperately looking for work in our chosen field. We lined our front hallway with the formal rejection letters we received. We called it the hall of doom. It seemed funny at the time. Even with student loans looming.
I have started to read “Atlas Shrugged” again. Partially, I want to see if it will still inspire me. Partially because with the current economic situation, I want to see if I can draw any parallels or gain any insights. Admittedly, I also want to see it through the lens of someone who is in mid-career versus in the beginning of one. And, heck, I have plenty of time on my hands to tackle the tome – all 1168 pages of it.
So, what inspired me about this book when I was in my early 20’s? Quotes like: “Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision” gave me hope. Dagny Taggart is one of the strongest female protagonists you’ll ever have the joy to read about. She motivated me. She’s a smart, ethical, risk-taking, driven and successful character. I also remember being jazzed about the notion of meritocracy and one day being a leader who does the right thing with conviction and passion and doesn’t get muddled down with collusion, favors and politics. I was thirsty for a female role model who focused on achievement, on producing things that mattered and who got things done through her capability and intelligence. That was Dagny Taggart.
Now, I’m only 83 pages into it this time around. So, I can’t draw any conclusions just yet about how I’ll respond to the book as a 40 something woman with a lot more life experience under her belt. My guess is, I’ll find inspiration in these pages once more. That’s the beautiful thing about books. They can teach you, entertain you and make you think.
If you have any book recommendations, please send them my way! Happy Reading! Happy Summer!
I have started to read “Atlas Shrugged” again. Partially, I want to see if it will still inspire me. Partially because with the current economic situation, I want to see if I can draw any parallels or gain any insights. Admittedly, I also want to see it through the lens of someone who is in mid-career versus in the beginning of one. And, heck, I have plenty of time on my hands to tackle the tome – all 1168 pages of it.
So, what inspired me about this book when I was in my early 20’s? Quotes like: “Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision” gave me hope. Dagny Taggart is one of the strongest female protagonists you’ll ever have the joy to read about. She motivated me. She’s a smart, ethical, risk-taking, driven and successful character. I also remember being jazzed about the notion of meritocracy and one day being a leader who does the right thing with conviction and passion and doesn’t get muddled down with collusion, favors and politics. I was thirsty for a female role model who focused on achievement, on producing things that mattered and who got things done through her capability and intelligence. That was Dagny Taggart.
Now, I’m only 83 pages into it this time around. So, I can’t draw any conclusions just yet about how I’ll respond to the book as a 40 something woman with a lot more life experience under her belt. My guess is, I’ll find inspiration in these pages once more. That’s the beautiful thing about books. They can teach you, entertain you and make you think.
For what it is worth, also on my summer reading list:
-"The Complete Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway"
-"Born Standing Up" (Steve Martin’s memoir of his early days as a comedian)
-"And the Hippos Were Boiled in their Tanks" (A never been published before collaboration between Jack Kerouac & William Burroughs)
I’ve recently completed and recommend:
-"Learning to Breath" by Alison Wright (non-fiction. Very inspirational)
-"The Angle’s Game" by Carlos Ruiz Zafon (if you liked The Shadow of the Wind – you’ll like this one too)
If you have any book recommendations, please send them my way! Happy Reading! Happy Summer!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
What's in a Letter?
I was walking down Pike yesterday afternoon and nearly got run over by a woman in her SUV who was in a hurry, it turns out, to nab a perfect parking spot so she could run into the 8 Limbs Yoga Studio. Apparently, she was late for class. I didn’t get any acknowledgment from her…like a “whoops” wave. Such are the dangers of city living I suppose!
It struck me as odd that she would be into yoga but be so utterly unaware of her surroundings and singly focused on “me, me, me.” Isn’t yoga supposed to make you all relaxed and groovy and in tune with other beings? And then I thought…maybe she needs yoga to calm her down. To burn off her aggression. And then I thought….well, maybe that’s how “type a” people do everything.
Taken from beloved Wikipedia, this is what they have to say about the Type A personality: “Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, over-ambitious, business-like, hostile, aggressive, incapable of relaxation in taking the smallest issues too seriously; and are somewhat disliked for the way that they're always rushing and demanding other people to serve to their standards of satisfaction.”
I’ve had many assessments over the years – MBTI, FIRO-B, Leadership Derailers, DISC, PulsePoints, Enneagram, formal 360 degree feedback processes, etc, etc, etc. Fortunately, I’ve never been described quite like a “type A” personality. Not in a classic sense, at least.
It’s true, I used to run around like a maniac…I loved working in a fast paced environment…I often got frustrated and impatient if people didn’t move as quickly as me…or needed too much information to make decisions or weren’t willing to put in the necessary time to get things done. I’d like to think that I was just matching the pace of the business. That I was pushing for high performance. That I wanted everyone to be successful, because results (and fast results at that) were what mattered.
Does that make me Type A? To ground myself in other letters, I went back to my MBTI profile, which is an ENFP. The description taken from the MBTI Foundation’s website says this about my type:
"Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency."
That really doesn’t sound Type A, does it?! I have had bosses tell me that I can’t be a P, because I get so much done and I seem so on top of it. And a colleague once told me … “You can’t be an ENFP because I am,” as if to say there was no way in heck we were alike. (Turns out I do have some “T” tendencies). Perhaps , though, I’ve just learned to flex. To scan the environment and figure out what’s needed. Besides, I grew up with a “classic,” work-a-holic type A father. So maybe some of that rubbed off on me. But it doesn’t mean that it is me.
What’s in a letter, anyway? Most assessments identify preferences. It doesn’t mean people can’t be adaptable to their situation or learn what works and what doesn’t in any given circumstance. In my new world – working 40 hours a month vs. 70 a week – I think I’m pretty type “B” at the moment. Easy-going, patient and pretty darn relaxed. Though, I'll admit, my husband and I have made a choice. I’m kicking back a little for the summer. When the leaves start to turn colors, it’s likely I’ll put things in high gear again. But, I promise, to all of you pedestrians, colleagues and friends, I will never run you over to get where I am going.
It struck me as odd that she would be into yoga but be so utterly unaware of her surroundings and singly focused on “me, me, me.” Isn’t yoga supposed to make you all relaxed and groovy and in tune with other beings? And then I thought…maybe she needs yoga to calm her down. To burn off her aggression. And then I thought….well, maybe that’s how “type a” people do everything.
Taken from beloved Wikipedia, this is what they have to say about the Type A personality: “Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, over-ambitious, business-like, hostile, aggressive, incapable of relaxation in taking the smallest issues too seriously; and are somewhat disliked for the way that they're always rushing and demanding other people to serve to their standards of satisfaction.”
I’ve had many assessments over the years – MBTI, FIRO-B, Leadership Derailers, DISC, PulsePoints, Enneagram, formal 360 degree feedback processes, etc, etc, etc. Fortunately, I’ve never been described quite like a “type A” personality. Not in a classic sense, at least.
It’s true, I used to run around like a maniac…I loved working in a fast paced environment…I often got frustrated and impatient if people didn’t move as quickly as me…or needed too much information to make decisions or weren’t willing to put in the necessary time to get things done. I’d like to think that I was just matching the pace of the business. That I was pushing for high performance. That I wanted everyone to be successful, because results (and fast results at that) were what mattered.
Does that make me Type A? To ground myself in other letters, I went back to my MBTI profile, which is an ENFP. The description taken from the MBTI Foundation’s website says this about my type:
"Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency."
That really doesn’t sound Type A, does it?! I have had bosses tell me that I can’t be a P, because I get so much done and I seem so on top of it. And a colleague once told me … “You can’t be an ENFP because I am,” as if to say there was no way in heck we were alike. (Turns out I do have some “T” tendencies). Perhaps , though, I’ve just learned to flex. To scan the environment and figure out what’s needed. Besides, I grew up with a “classic,” work-a-holic type A father. So maybe some of that rubbed off on me. But it doesn’t mean that it is me.
What’s in a letter, anyway? Most assessments identify preferences. It doesn’t mean people can’t be adaptable to their situation or learn what works and what doesn’t in any given circumstance. In my new world – working 40 hours a month vs. 70 a week – I think I’m pretty type “B” at the moment. Easy-going, patient and pretty darn relaxed. Though, I'll admit, my husband and I have made a choice. I’m kicking back a little for the summer. When the leaves start to turn colors, it’s likely I’ll put things in high gear again. But, I promise, to all of you pedestrians, colleagues and friends, I will never run you over to get where I am going.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Break from Bacchus
It’s been about a year since things really, really, really started to go down hill with WaMu. Twelve months ago we were in the midst of a corporate initiative called “Project Restart.” Which was an intensive cost cutting measure, including reduction in force, and potential restructuring. To save money, ah hem, we had McKinsey in to help us think through streamlining approaches and to asses our effectiveness as an organization. After years of trying through failed efforts (one early cost cutting measure was called "Project Franklin"….as in the Benjamins), this seemed downright serious. Things had to change….or else.
Similarly, this weekend, my husband and I tried a two day “detox diet.” While many medical professionals say it’s unnecessary, we had felt that it would be a good way to reflect on our eating habits (his for high cholesterol and mine for the lbs. I want to lose) and to give our bodies a break from the usual unfettered gluttony we’ve come to know and love through our fascination with fabulous food and wine.
Like in corporate America, when you have to get rid of pet projects, make tough decisions, “trim the fat,” we had to spend an entire weekend without caffeine, salt, sugar, wheat, wine, meat and dairy. We had to do what “was good for us,” which was eat bitter green salads with lemon, garlic, olive oil dressing, steam our veggies, drink lemon water constantly and try things to detox like steamy hot showers and a massage (the latter I didn’t mind!).
I wish there was a two day “detox diet” for large companies needing to make change. Can you imagine? Corporate initiatives take so darn long that the world changes around them and the projects have to get renamed and take a different shape with perhaps a new sponsor. All it does is cause great confusion and a lack of productivity (which is generally the antithesis of why they're doing it in the first place.) What if the leaders of organizations could come up with a really good plan and just execute it, flawlessly and quickly, with everyone doing their part?
James and I had a clear vision for the weekend, a structured plan, a commitment to seeing it through and we supported each other when caffeine headaches started and when will power was starting to weaken. There was no….”okay…you can put salt and butter on that steamed artichoke.”
Of course, I realize that a two person “organization” is much less complicated than a multi-unit company, but still…the message is the same. Figure out the best path, commit to it fully even if it kind of sucks some times, and move towards the goal together. (No passive-aggresive behavior, no hidden agendas, no letting your fear and/or ego lead the way).
This morning, we woke up a bit groggy, but feeling good and committed to being more thoughtful about what we put in our mouths and how we spend our time together. It seems like our own little restart. This time, though, as “project restarts” go, it’s going to work.
Similarly, this weekend, my husband and I tried a two day “detox diet.” While many medical professionals say it’s unnecessary, we had felt that it would be a good way to reflect on our eating habits (his for high cholesterol and mine for the lbs. I want to lose) and to give our bodies a break from the usual unfettered gluttony we’ve come to know and love through our fascination with fabulous food and wine.
Like in corporate America, when you have to get rid of pet projects, make tough decisions, “trim the fat,” we had to spend an entire weekend without caffeine, salt, sugar, wheat, wine, meat and dairy. We had to do what “was good for us,” which was eat bitter green salads with lemon, garlic, olive oil dressing, steam our veggies, drink lemon water constantly and try things to detox like steamy hot showers and a massage (the latter I didn’t mind!).
I wish there was a two day “detox diet” for large companies needing to make change. Can you imagine? Corporate initiatives take so darn long that the world changes around them and the projects have to get renamed and take a different shape with perhaps a new sponsor. All it does is cause great confusion and a lack of productivity (which is generally the antithesis of why they're doing it in the first place.) What if the leaders of organizations could come up with a really good plan and just execute it, flawlessly and quickly, with everyone doing their part?
James and I had a clear vision for the weekend, a structured plan, a commitment to seeing it through and we supported each other when caffeine headaches started and when will power was starting to weaken. There was no….”okay…you can put salt and butter on that steamed artichoke.”
Of course, I realize that a two person “organization” is much less complicated than a multi-unit company, but still…the message is the same. Figure out the best path, commit to it fully even if it kind of sucks some times, and move towards the goal together. (No passive-aggresive behavior, no hidden agendas, no letting your fear and/or ego lead the way).
This morning, we woke up a bit groggy, but feeling good and committed to being more thoughtful about what we put in our mouths and how we spend our time together. It seems like our own little restart. This time, though, as “project restarts” go, it’s going to work.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
What Does It Take To Lead?
I’ve been in a management role/leadership role for nearly fifteen years of my nineteen year career. I’ve never worried about title, been motivated by position power or control; I’ve only wanted to make great things happen and be satisfied at the end of the day that my team and I were doing what the business needed and that the work was at the highest bar possible.
Ah, but that wasn’t all that floated my boat, so to speak. Truth be told, what I’ve enjoyed the most as a leader is seeing others develop and grow. That has helped me to find meaning in my work during turbulent times and has uplifted me countless times, even when the going was good. Some say I was good at leading. Others might beg to differ. I know I wasn’t always perfect. But, at the end of the day, I enjoyed the heck out of it. And I hope I was able to impact those around me positively.
I’ve lost touch with my first mentor/boss, Phil Petrilli. Besides being wicked smart (engineer, MBA & a law degree which isn’t typical for a VP of HR), he was a kind, values-based and committed leader. He hired me without any deep organizational development experience to head up a new OD function in a 1,500 person family-run business. I guess he liked my generalist and educational background, my energy and how hungry I was to learn. He took a chance on me. And for the two years I worked for him, I was able to grow under his mentorship and watchful eye.
So, it was in my formidable years as a fledgling manager that Phil became my role model for what a leader does and doesn’t do. He gave me room to make mistakes, always catching me before I fell of a ledge. He took time to talk things through and share what was going on in the business, even though it was generally at 7 in the morning over coffee. He laughed a lot. He did not hesitate to “shout from the rooftops” for what he believed in. He was not an egoist. He was thoughtful about managing change. He sent me more articles than you can shake a stick at and he invested in my formal development. He gave me feedback. He shared his lessons learned and at times he was vulnerable. He supported me – no – more than that. He stood up for me. He taught me to go for the gusto but to do so in a way that was not off-putting to others. He showed me that relationships matter most in business.
That two-way relationship has made an indelible impact on me and it has made me a better person to boot. (Phil, wherever you are and whatever it takes, I’m going to find you and thank you properly.)
With this little hiatus of mine from the “grind” of corporate America, I’ve had time to reflect on what leadership means to me. I’m currently in an individual contributor role (aka a consultant) and that has tested me (and not because I have to do everything from developing the strategy to making the deck look pretty). What is a leader? And, if I don’t have a team to lead, am I still a leader?
In the past, I’ve had arguments, perhaps passionate arguments, about the notion of leadership and management. People always want to separate the two. “Well, there are leaders and they are at the top of the pyramid. And, there are managers who execute what the leaders say to do. Oh, and there are the worker-bees who really get the stuff done.” That just doesn’t resonate with me.
What do leaders do? They get excited about (and create) a common purpose; they act with integrity and empower those around them to be their best; they influence processes and find a way to make the right things happen; they achieve results for the greater good (vs. to build out their own resume or to line their pockets with dineros); they have followers – people who want to be around them. They are accountable for what’s been asked of them. Does it really take being at the top of the pyramid to do all that? Personally I don’t think so.
I get that at different levels of an organization there are different responsibilities, different levels of risk and reward, different levels of influence and experience, different levels of accountability. But, I tell you…I’ve seen a lot of people who are “leaders” who don’t know what the heck they are doing or who don't care what their behaviors are doing to their people or the organization's health. And, I’ve seen a lot of people who are “followers” who make magic happen because of how they show up to the game. I’m still open for a debate on this. Really! But, I’m just saying, I think we should stop trying to segment the organization into the haves and have nots and call for leaders at every level of the organization. Wouldn't that be cool?
Ah, but that wasn’t all that floated my boat, so to speak. Truth be told, what I’ve enjoyed the most as a leader is seeing others develop and grow. That has helped me to find meaning in my work during turbulent times and has uplifted me countless times, even when the going was good. Some say I was good at leading. Others might beg to differ. I know I wasn’t always perfect. But, at the end of the day, I enjoyed the heck out of it. And I hope I was able to impact those around me positively.
I’ve lost touch with my first mentor/boss, Phil Petrilli. Besides being wicked smart (engineer, MBA & a law degree which isn’t typical for a VP of HR), he was a kind, values-based and committed leader. He hired me without any deep organizational development experience to head up a new OD function in a 1,500 person family-run business. I guess he liked my generalist and educational background, my energy and how hungry I was to learn. He took a chance on me. And for the two years I worked for him, I was able to grow under his mentorship and watchful eye.
So, it was in my formidable years as a fledgling manager that Phil became my role model for what a leader does and doesn’t do. He gave me room to make mistakes, always catching me before I fell of a ledge. He took time to talk things through and share what was going on in the business, even though it was generally at 7 in the morning over coffee. He laughed a lot. He did not hesitate to “shout from the rooftops” for what he believed in. He was not an egoist. He was thoughtful about managing change. He sent me more articles than you can shake a stick at and he invested in my formal development. He gave me feedback. He shared his lessons learned and at times he was vulnerable. He supported me – no – more than that. He stood up for me. He taught me to go for the gusto but to do so in a way that was not off-putting to others. He showed me that relationships matter most in business.
That two-way relationship has made an indelible impact on me and it has made me a better person to boot. (Phil, wherever you are and whatever it takes, I’m going to find you and thank you properly.)
With this little hiatus of mine from the “grind” of corporate America, I’ve had time to reflect on what leadership means to me. I’m currently in an individual contributor role (aka a consultant) and that has tested me (and not because I have to do everything from developing the strategy to making the deck look pretty). What is a leader? And, if I don’t have a team to lead, am I still a leader?
In the past, I’ve had arguments, perhaps passionate arguments, about the notion of leadership and management. People always want to separate the two. “Well, there are leaders and they are at the top of the pyramid. And, there are managers who execute what the leaders say to do. Oh, and there are the worker-bees who really get the stuff done.” That just doesn’t resonate with me.
What do leaders do? They get excited about (and create) a common purpose; they act with integrity and empower those around them to be their best; they influence processes and find a way to make the right things happen; they achieve results for the greater good (vs. to build out their own resume or to line their pockets with dineros); they have followers – people who want to be around them. They are accountable for what’s been asked of them. Does it really take being at the top of the pyramid to do all that? Personally I don’t think so.
I get that at different levels of an organization there are different responsibilities, different levels of risk and reward, different levels of influence and experience, different levels of accountability. But, I tell you…I’ve seen a lot of people who are “leaders” who don’t know what the heck they are doing or who don't care what their behaviors are doing to their people or the organization's health. And, I’ve seen a lot of people who are “followers” who make magic happen because of how they show up to the game. I’m still open for a debate on this. Really! But, I’m just saying, I think we should stop trying to segment the organization into the haves and have nots and call for leaders at every level of the organization. Wouldn't that be cool?
Friday, May 8, 2009
In Times Like These...
I must admit, with the bit of free time I seem to have, I can not help but read (and sometimes post) comments to news articles on seattletimes.com. I feel like I’m learning about a whole new slice of humanity that I’ve never been exposed to. It’s a cultural, anthropological dig if I’ve ever seen one. Posts range from crude and rude to passionate and thought provoking. Issues are discussed with frankness (not always informed). People let their opinions unfurl. There are down and out verbal shoot ‘em outs. It’s very entertaining.
One turn of phrase that keeps popping up is… “In times like these.”
It’s a way to get readers of these blogs ready for a rant. Against everything and everyone. Mostly, though, it’s used in the business section blogs when people who, most likely, haven’t worked in large corporations, complain about a company funding a morale event (why this makes news…I don’t understand, but that’s another blog post) or some other “excess.”
What do they want? If there is a layoff in a company the remaining employees must live in the Gulag? Eating gruel and hoarding office supplies?
Clearly there have been some egregious business practices where the top dogs got off scott free while funding their third home and wife's plastic surgery. They became rich while the house of cards they built collapsed and crushed their employees. They are not good people. But unfortunate instances like these are few and far between. We've got to put things into perspective for crying out loud!!!
Bottom line: Companies who are going through hard times need to find ways to keep the remaining employees engaged, focused on meaningful and profitable work and looking towards a better future. It's the only path to recovery.
I’ve been on both sides of the line – the one kicked to the curb and the one watching their colleagues being told to move on. It ain’t easy … but in times like these...we need to keep our perspective in tact.
One turn of phrase that keeps popping up is… “In times like these.”
It’s a way to get readers of these blogs ready for a rant. Against everything and everyone. Mostly, though, it’s used in the business section blogs when people who, most likely, haven’t worked in large corporations, complain about a company funding a morale event (why this makes news…I don’t understand, but that’s another blog post) or some other “excess.”
What do they want? If there is a layoff in a company the remaining employees must live in the Gulag? Eating gruel and hoarding office supplies?
Clearly there have been some egregious business practices where the top dogs got off scott free while funding their third home and wife's plastic surgery. They became rich while the house of cards they built collapsed and crushed their employees. They are not good people. But unfortunate instances like these are few and far between. We've got to put things into perspective for crying out loud!!!
Bottom line: Companies who are going through hard times need to find ways to keep the remaining employees engaged, focused on meaningful and profitable work and looking towards a better future. It's the only path to recovery.
I’ve been on both sides of the line – the one kicked to the curb and the one watching their colleagues being told to move on. It ain’t easy … but in times like these...we need to keep our perspective in tact.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Trippy
I’m going on vacation soon. And while there is still the task tension of getting the mail stopped and packing the perfect clothes and worrying about the house and dog care, it feels different on this side of the employment line.
I don’t need the vacation to re-charge, catch up on my sleep or have some “me” time. I don’t have to worry about “out of office” messages or who is in charge of what while I’m gone. I don’t need to worry about being “punished” for going on vacation and coming back to my email inbox full beyond my capacity to reply and me taking days to dig out. I don’t even have to worry about my vacation days being eaten up. Because when I come back, I’ve got more where they came from.
Weird...it's almost like I'm taking a vacation from vacation. What do I need an escape from? Nothing. It's not like I am checking my blackberry before I go to bed and before I have my morning coffee and shower, it's not like I'm going to meetings about planning for upcoming meetings, which drove me nuts, it's not like I'm setting the alarm clock every day and hitting the snooze button as a sign of protest, it's not like I have to feel guilty because I have to look for my ID badge, because I never put it in the same place in my bag, and hold up the elevator queue.
Maybe on my vacation I need to recover from missing these things...Working with others towards a common purpose, laughing at meetings and not taking ourselves too seriously, being around really smart, caring and impressive colleagues, leading a team of super bright and talented folks, feeling wonderfully exhausted after an intense week of making good things happen.
When I get back from this vacation from my vacation, I’ll figure out how to have the best of both worlds. Until then, I’ve got to make sure my passport is still current, that I clean out the fridge so there are no science experiments when we return, that we pick up the dry cleaning and that my one client has everything he needs while I’m out of pocket for a few weeks. That is a nice, short "to do" list.
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