In the last week I have had two vivid dreams related to working at my former employer. The first one had to do with me being late for a meeting and not being able to figure out the elevator system to get to the meeting. The second one had to do with me not being invited to participate on an organization design working team where my fate was being determined.
Despite having an educational background in psychology, I am no Sigmund Freud when it comes to interpreting dreams. Certainly, in both dreams there was anxiety. And familiar faces. And a sense of urgency.
Feeling curious this morning, I fired up my computer and went to a dream interpretation site called “Dream Moods.”
Here’s what they say being late in a dream means:
“To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. You feel time is running out and that you do not have time to accomplish all the things you want.”
There wasn’t anything on their site about being left out or excluded, so I went back to the internet and found a website called “The Curious Dreamer.” Here’s what came up when I typed excluded:
"-You are feeling rejected, let down, or left out in real life—in a current or past situation
-You are rejecting or judging yourself in some way (try releasing judgments of yourself and accepting yourself just as you are)"
I certainly don’t know the validity of these sites and I’m not 100% convinced that certain symbols in dreams can be universally interpreted. Still, these interpreted meanings got me thinking…
It’s true that I’m starting to feel anxious about finding one or two more clients so that I can spend the year building up my consulting practice. I don’t feel unworthy or unready or unsupported in my endeavor, but it’s true that my future is a little uncertain at the moment. Having been an equal partner in our finances with my husband, I can’t stand the thought of not eventually being able to pull my weight, even though we’re fine right now.
Given I’ve been somewhat laid back about getting going because I have one client already, I’m going to gander that my subconscious was telling me that I need to get serious about my new business and start treating it like a fulltime job.
I found it interesting that being excluded = being rejected. True, I lost my job (as have many others) and yes I feel let down by my former company. And yes, I can be judgmental of myself. But in the dream, there was also a sense of a power struggle. So my interpretation of my second dream is that I am having to let go of who I thought I was working “for the man” and figure out who I want to be in this next phase of my career.
I hope my next dream has me holding a daisy, walking through a passage way and onto a dock for a smooth sailing adventure. According to “The Curious Dreamer” that would mean that there is friendship, good will and happiness in my life and that I’m experiencing a new beginning and that my life is moving along well, and I am feeling supported and fortunate.
Oh – wait. I don’t need to dream that. I already have that in my life! And while there will be ups and downs along this journey, that will make all of the difference in the world.
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Ah, such is life. We fool ourselves into thinking that our jobs are not intertwined with our identity, or that the endless dreary economic news doesn't harsh our buzz. But, that would be impossible, right? We are human. We feel, we experience and we exist. While the demise of our employer may be a good thing in some ways (the push we needed), it is also bittersweet. It's hard work to figure out who we are when we stand alone. Hmmmm, much to ponder!
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